Location, Location

I've been in hiding the last couple of weeks. I have been in the process of trying to straighten things around with my trip to Austin, exploring new avenues of income, and planning out this movie, among other things.

Well, I made the first step toward the production just now. I sent out e-mails to locations I might be using during production. I haven't even written the movie yet, but I have some ideas visualized as to where I want to shoot. Here are the locations I'm looking into:

Gimme Coffee, Cayuga St., Ithaca
Pixel Arcade, Collegetown, Ithaca
Level B Bar, Collegetown, Ithaca
Olin & Uris Libraries, Cornell University
Kroch Asia Library, Cornell University
Fine Arts Library, Cornell University
No Radio Records, Seneca St., Ithaca

I'm not worried about the last one, because I know the owners well enough that I'll just ask them the next time I'm in their store...or something.

All is not as it seems

Have you ever pursued an idea, a dream, or a vision for several years, only when you tried to make it a reality it didn't seem as great as you imagined?

For few years now, I've had this idea that I've bounced around in my head that centered around two things: indie rock and twentysomething life in a college town. (Think Cornell University's Fanclub Collective). I did plenty of interviews and talked to plenty of people while I lived in Ithaca, and of course, I drew from my own memories.

Monday afternoon, I began to have visions and jotted down a list of scenes. But something was amiss. First, I felt like the idea was too reminiscent of Funny Ha Ha and Susan Seidelman's first film, Smithereens. A few years ago, had I realized this avenue was open to me, this would've been a perfect project to pursue. Now? Not so much.

I'll be honest and say that I do want to be accepted as a filmmaker, not just a mumblecore fangirl. In order to do this, I'm really going to have to do something that separates myself from them.

Books: All Fact, No Heart

Yesterday, I went to Cornell's Olin Library, to look up some info on Plato and Alan Watts. Aside from getting a few of Watts' reviews from The New Republic, the whole thing was a bust. I had a limited amount of time to look stuff up and copy it, then I pulled out the microfiche for the articles, only to realize I only had half of what I needed.

On my way back, I thought, "What am I doing?" I'm not sure if spending hours in a library doing research even on a subject I find worthwhile is something I want to be doing right now. I want to get out and go somewhere, and I'm not talking about going to a bar or going to see a movie. I want to get away, go somewhere alone.

Why?

For the last week and a half now, I've been digging up academic journal articles, and copying book excerpts that primarily deal with Joseph Campbell and Aristotle's Poetics in preparation to write a book (or something) that criticizes screenwriting books and their dogmatic views on storytelling. Earlier tonight, I believe I was thinking about digging out more articles at the libraries at Cornell, when I had to stop and think.

WHY AM I DOING THIS?!?!?? It's not that pursuing such a project would be futile (though it might be). My question was more like, "Do I really care enough to do this?" Undertaking a book length criticism requires a lot of energy, and I might be better off channeling that energy in more constructive ways. I don't even have a proper thesis! Why do I want to do this, and why do I care?