All is not as it seems

Have you ever pursued an idea, a dream, or a vision for several years, only when you tried to make it a reality it didn't seem as great as you imagined?

For few years now, I've had this idea that I've bounced around in my head that centered around two things: indie rock and twentysomething life in a college town. (Think Cornell University's Fanclub Collective). I did plenty of interviews and talked to plenty of people while I lived in Ithaca, and of course, I drew from my own memories.

Monday afternoon, I began to have visions and jotted down a list of scenes. But something was amiss. First, I felt like the idea was too reminiscent of Funny Ha Ha and Susan Seidelman's first film, Smithereens. A few years ago, had I realized this avenue was open to me, this would've been a perfect project to pursue. Now? Not so much.

I'll be honest and say that I do want to be accepted as a filmmaker, not just a mumblecore fangirl. In order to do this, I'm really going to have to do something that separates myself from them.

RIP Uncle Jim

I've been having trouble coming up with ideas for my short film, beyond what I said in the preceding post. Since the five hour course I was supposed to take on Monday was cancelled (I'll be taking it on Saturday instead), I'm going to take the time and watch the Funny Ha Ha DVD that I own for inspiration.

Remember that critique of screenwriting books I was working on? I've decided to write a screenwriting book that evaluates European Films. I will still be able to incorporate the research I've done, but it will be more constructive. I've seen plenty of European films already, so that part is taken care of. I think its an idea whose time has come.

In the meantime, I plan on making some new YouTube videos. I really lost interest in it for awhile, but now I have some fresh ideas.

On a personal note, my Uncle Jim passed away. I hadn't seen him since he moved to Arizona several years ago, but when I was a kid, we used to go up every Christmas to his house in Rochester. He and his wife, my Aunt Pat, took care of my Uncle David when my maternal grandparents died. His daughter Mary is my sister's godmother. I will miss him.